So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
