Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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