My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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