apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
