You're so nebulous sometimes
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
