Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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