Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Still dying that you shit outside
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
