my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
