I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
