Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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