hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
