i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
did i walk over a car last night?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
