is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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