the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
