like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
