She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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