id be glad to
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize