I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
