batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
