i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
