I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
