Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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