I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Panties = found
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