Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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