Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Randomize
