We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
