In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
