Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
So here I am, sexting at work.
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