i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
