alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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