i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
