We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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