My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
