32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
