It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
