All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
