I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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