i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
