i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Randomize
