In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
