I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wish i was in the wii world.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
