6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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