If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
