what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
