Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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