i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
