Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
