break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Are my feet made of real feet?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize