Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
