I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize