this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize