I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
