There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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