when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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