so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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