you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
