How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
