Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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