is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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