Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
