u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
