So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
