you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So much Jack, so little girl.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
