My hair reeks of homosexuality.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Success! We fucked roommates!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
