so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
