so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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