roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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