oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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